Options? I've tried a few.
Nothing works for very long,
then its back to the same sorry song.
Sadness so sharp it cuts and I bleed.
No one sees these wounds on me.
They say" your strong, you perserver, you survive.
You have it all, so many blessings too."
It's true , I've counted them , two or three.
These's arent the things that weigh on me.
Not the reasons to not want to be.
Dark blue metal lays cold in my hand.
My mind numb.
Resolve set.
Just one chance, only one will I get.
To succeed.
Counting the bullets, all chambers full.
Cant let the hammer fall on empty.
lose my chance, lose my mind , and not go through this ending of mine.
Destroying these demons existing , heavy in my thoughts, tearing at my heart.
No longer able to hold up my head.
Rasing my hand......
Feeling cold touching my skin.
Hand tenses...
No regrets...
Finger curls..
Closing eyes.....
Hear a click....
I dont jump . I dont shake nor flinch...
Small hands at the door,asking "Please let me in"
The safety was on...
A new day begins........