You have eight and a half yards but still come up short.
Close but no cigar... like a ship out of its port.
Horseshoes and handgrenades; pepper without salt.
Crimes have been commited but no one is at fault.
Eleven eggs in the carton; a car with three wheels.
Yin without yang; a furniture dealer without "deals".
Never will eight plus one equal ten.
What's true today will be true tomorrow again.
To say that it doesn't is just plain mathematical sin.
No opera is complete without a fat lady at the end.

Oreo cookies without cream in the center.
Freezing coldwith no snow during winter.
An American flag with only forty nine stars..
(N.A.S.A claiming there's no Martians on Mars.)

People's Court without "Wapner"; Non-violent cartoons.
A televangelist not begging for money. A desert without dunes.
None of these situations will ever be complete,
No more than a fire not producing any heat.

A non-battery flashlight. A pilotless plane.
A member of M.E.N.S.A. who doesn't possess a brain.
A stretch of highway without road-kill on the road.
A fairytale without a witch, princess or toad.
A non-wobbling grocery cart; soup without broth.
The corner material store that doesn't sell cloth.
Who wants a deck with only fifty one cards?
To complete ANYTHING you need the whole nine yards!



Poem copyrighted by Bo Bandy.

© Getty & Fey.
All Rights reserved.