It was a warm summer day and a very special tomcat named Toonses with 7 lives left was looking for a comfortable place to take yet another nap. Of course when looking for THE place to take a nap there are several criteria to be considered as all cats know. For instance; ‘would any pesky dogs from the neighborhood discover his makeshift bed and disturb him’; and ‘is the potential resting place cool, shaded, and rain proof’? Lastly but not least; ‘is there food nearby’? Finding just the right spot could be very time consuming but the rewards paid off in the end with an enjoyable nap. Heading the list of possibilities was the inside of what the human’s refer to as a car. The window was rolled down and it seemed to have all the perfect conditions. With a graceful leap he landed right on the windowsill and plopped down into the seat. Once inside he located the perfect place in the rear floorboard and did something that came very easy for him; sleep. He slept so soundly if fact that he didn’t even notice when the human got in the car and drove off with our subject still in the back seat!
Upon waking with an empty stomach which prompted him to seek nourishment; he stretched, yawned and proceeded to exit the car. Imagine his surprise when the surroundings were no longer the same! The back porch where his food bowl was gone and the entire area was covered in the pavement of a parking lot. Everything was different. He walked around in a daze for a while surveying the situation. Nothing made sense to him so he opted to climb back in the car until he ‘woke from the crazy dream he was obviously having’. He turned around to get back into the car but the lot was filled with cars with their windows down and he couldn’t figure out which he had been in. They all looked the same to him and he made the wrong choice twice before he smelled his scent on the floorboard of the right one. He circled the spot a few times before laying down in the same exact position he had before. Later when the lady slammed the car door shut as she got home from her shopping excursion, Toonses was jarred awake again.
Once again Toonses was at home again on his old stomping grounds. ‘The crazy dream’ was over. He sprung off the car’s window and landed gingerly in the driveway, intending to visit his food bowl. When he leaped up the steps to the porch he felt a sharp pain in his paw pad. Upon investigation he discovered a large tar covered gravel between his claws. "How did that get there?"; he wondered. He knew that it hadn’t been there earlier when he had gotten into the car; just like a human knows when they have a rock in their shoe. "The whole episode had really happened!"; He figured out with amazement. He had been transported through time and space in the human’s secret machine! Previously he didn’t believe that cats could travel through time and space but he also didn’t realize cats could climb trees until he tried it for the first time. "It must be one of those things that wise old cats know and kittens haven’t discovered yet."; He reasoned. Being shrewd as all cats are, Toonses’ head began to swim with all the possibilities his new knowledge would bring him. More food, more sleep, and more girlfriends!
Man has always had limitations because we have always been told what was ‘possible’ and ‘impossible’. Hearing ‘That can’t be done’ has a very crippling effect on our willingness to try new things and our ability to succeed; just like those who said space travel was impossible or running a mile in under four minutes would make the heart explode. Because of those false statements, mankind had always been held back until someone had the courage to challenge and break down those barriers. Cats do not have these limitations because they hardly ever talk among themselves; let alone had philosophical discussions! For that reason Toonses had no trouble believing in his mind that he had traveled through time and space; and since he believed it so completely without any doubts the Cosmic Forces in the Universe made them reality! Eager to put his new ability to work for him, he set out to find a car with the window down.
After finding a large luxury car with soft plush seats a few houses down he climbed in and raised up on his hind legs and willed the car to start. Two seconds later the car’s engine was purring. He had earlier suspicions that it wasn’t necessary for him to be asleep to drive the car and now it was confirmed! He had watched a car being driven once on a large screen inside a human’s house so he knew all the steps to drive it. He telekenetically moved the transmission shifter into reverse and willed the gas pedal down and turned the steering wheel with his paws to make the car back into the road. Then he telekenetically applied the brakes, straightened out the steering wheel and roared off into town. He was thankful that the car was an automatic because all the extra telepathy would have given him a merciless headache!
He had heard tales of the meat packing factory in town by a stray cat friend of his from the city named ‘Heathcliff’ who had been brought into the suburbs by some humans. His friend had told him fascinating but probably ‘tall tales’ about a feast of food that was discarded everyday in a dumpster behind the building. That was going to be the first stop on his maiden driving excursion. He stopped and parked the car in a visitor’s parking place since he didn’t want to be towed. After scanning both ways for danger he quickly darted around to the back of the building to see if the ‘fish’ stories were true. His stomach was growling and he could hardly wait to get into the dumpster.
The ‘delicious’ smell of rotting meat reached Toonses before he finally saw it. He could just imagine the treasures inside! Then he began to wonder how he would ever get inside since the side door was closed. It has been said that there is a fine line between courage and carelessness but cats only have instinct as a guide so they are provided with eight extra lives to make up for it. As a younger kitten Toonses had already used up two of his lives and soon he would whittle away more. Because the instinct to feed himself was stronger than his logic to be careful at the moment he climbed up the side of the dumpster. When he had made it almost all the way to the top he lost his clawhold and fell; hitting his head on the hard pavement and costing him his third life.
He got up from the ground and shook his head back and fourth as if to shake out the dizziness. He then proceeded to climb back up the side again, completely unconcerned about the previous accident. This time our subject made it all the way to the top. The dumpster’s top door was propped open so the factory workers could pitch in the discarded meat without having to open the lid each time; providing Toonses with a perfect way in. He jumped down into the waste and gorged himself on the rotting meats. Only after eating his fill did he start to worry about how he was going to get out! No matter how many times he tried he couldn’t scale the slippery sides because he was just too far down in the dumpster to reach the top. About an hour went by and he started feeling VERY sick from all the sloshing his stomach received from his failed escape attempts but there was no grass to chew on so he just laid on his side in misery. The meat was spoiled from exposure to the heat and the open air had tainted it with food poisoning. That cost him his fourth life.
He woke up and vomited all he had eaten with a violent lunge. That took care of his deadly bellyache but he was still trapped. Hours went by and Toonses became hungry again but he couldn’t bear the thought of eating more of the meat that made him so sick before. He temporarily forgot about his hunger when the loud sounds of a truck came near. He wondered if it was an 18 wheeler or just a delivery truck. Then the dumpster began to shake violently! Toonses meowed fearfully as only a cat could but the sound was lost in the truck’s hydraulic system. Then the dumpster began to rise and tip over. All the contents of the dumpster were emptied into the trash truck and because Toonses was on top, he was buried under tons of rotten meat and trash. He struggled to free himself but air was nowhere to be found. Asphyxiation wasn’t his only problem when the truck’s hydraulic door reversed and crushed the trash to make room for more. That cost him his fifth life.
When the door stopped crushing the trash in, it retracted and folded itself back on the top of the truck. Toonses regained consciousness and crawled his way out to the edge of the truck’s rear door. The truck was gaining speed and if he was going to escape it was now or never. He leaped out and landed with a thud in the middle of the road which knocked the breath out of him. He regained his composure and was so happy to be free that he didn’t even notice the transfer truck coming right at him. That cost him his sixth life, just as being struck by cars had claimed his first and second lives when he was a kitten.
The impact knocked his body into a rain gutter. He awoke when he landed in the sewer’s water. He was cold, wet, bruised, hungry and alone in the sewer below the road. At least he thought he was alone! His eyes adjusted to the darkness and he crept toward a peculiar smell. A large rat; dead from unknown causes was lying at the edge of the water. Figuring that the rat would make as good a meal as any other; he tasted the rodent’s flesh. He sensed that he was surrounded by unfriendly forces. Literally thousands of rats peered at him through the darkness. He growled a low throaty growl as a warning but the enormous pack a sewer rats didn’t move away an inch. They were closing in on him and there was no place to go but in the water. He arched his back and hissed at them in a final attempt to scare them away but it was useless. After being bitten several times he leaped back into the icy water. He paddled to the other side but they were over there as well; just waiting for him to emerge. He frantically searched for a place to exit the water free from the ravenous rats because he was cramping and couldn’t stay afloat much longer. The rats were squeaking in a pre-feeding frenzy. After two failed attempts to escape Toonses went under and drowned. That was his seventh life.
When he came to, he had drifted
to the edge of the water and the rats were gone. He could hear human voices
and see a light up ahead in the tunnel. He raced toward it quickly before
the rats could return. A city sanitation worker was at the bottom in the
ladder yelling up at another human at the top of the manhole. Now was his
chance to escape! Toonses meowed loudly and raced up to the human in effort
to attract as much attention as possible. "Well, would you look’y here!":
Said Frank. "You’ll never guess what I just found."; He hollered up to
the other human named Sam.
"What did ‘ya find; a wallet with a hundred bucks in it?"; Joked
Sam.
"Na, nothing like that, it’s a kitty cat."
"Hum, he must have fallen into the sewer drain."; Said Sam.
"I’m sure he could tell us some captivating tales about life down
here if he could only talk!"
"Well, we’ll just dry this kitty off and take him to the animal
shelter where he can be adopted."; Suggested Frank.
"I’d take him myself but Gladys said ‘No more pets or you’re sleeping
in the doghouse with them!’." Both men laughed at the realization of who
‘wore the pants’ in Frank’s family.
Toonses was dropped off at the animal shelter where he was caged for the first time in his life. Due to overcrowding, all animals not claimed after 30 days were to be ‘put to sleep’. Toonses had no realization of danger. He was getting two good meals a day and had several girlfriends during his time at the shelter. Unknown to him the 30 days were soon up and he was scheduled to have his ‘nap’. At the appointed time Toonses and several others were led to the gas chamber. That was his eighth life.
When he awoke amid the piles of his fellow inmates he realized that he was on top of a dump truck. "Better on top than inside"; Toonses remembered with a shudder. Then it occurred what was in store for him at the landfill. He; along with a few other cats who had lives left began planning their escape. He told the others what it was liked being trapped under trash. They all agreed to work together since none of them wanted that experience. When the driver got out of the truck to ask the landfill director where to drop the load of trash Toonses and his motley gang made their move. Inside the cab of the dump truck they dove in and Toonses threw the truck in gear. The driver and the Landfill manager couldn’t believe their eyes when they saw Toonses stealing the truck! They were too stunned to chase after it and it wouldn’t have mattered since it was already gone in a cloud of dust in seconds flat.
Because Toonses hadn’t really been away
from home, the road and scenery were all new to him. He was just about
to master the complicated gear system of the large rig on the cliff side
road they were on when one of his fellow feline thieves; a tabby named
Frances asked: "How can you be driving when all wise cats know that we
can’t drive cars or trucks!" With that doubt inspiring statement the dump
truck and all its renegade passengers veered off the cliffside road and
plunged to their final deaths below. Curiosity didn’t kill Toonses, crippling
doubt did!
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