Hello, my name is Dianne Monarch and I would like to show you what you’re missing if you don’t have the New Vision Encyclopedia of Modern Science and Technology. If I could only have a few moments of your time I think you...” “Why sure. Come on in, I’d love to look at them!” “You would? I mean, uh... OK, thanks! After having doors slammed in her face all week in the city, she had almost given up. Then she changed her strategy and chose to go from door to door in the countryside where she hoped people would be more friendly and receptive to her sales pitch since they rarely had solicitations and didn’t have the opportunity to keep up with technology like the urban populace did. After walking all day long however, her feet were killing her and the next driveway leading off the main road was going to be her last attempt unless she had some success. Now, finally there seemed to be a little reason for enthusiasm, Dianne thought. She would have given up the first day if it hadn’t been for the fine print in her contract which stated that the salesperson would have to purchase any remaining unsold encyclopedias from the “starter set”. Instead of earning her college tuition at a regular summer job she had been enticed by the inflated claims of “easy profits and spare time only sales hours” that were promised by the publisher’s representative. He had claimed they practically sold themselves. That might have been true if only she could get someone to take a look at them. The $49.95 sales seminar fee had been bad enough but having four of the five encyclopedia sets left was far worse. Only her mother had taken pity on her. “Would you like some tea or coffee?”; her gracious host offered politely. “I don’t want to be any trouble...” “Oh, it’s no trouble at all, really.”; He responded. “I was preparing some for myself anyway.” “Which one where you making: coffee or tea?”; She inquired for clarification. “Uh, both actually. Coffee for now to wake up with and a pot of tea for later to sip with my lunch. Please have a seat and I’ll be right back. How do you like yours?”; He asked. “I like my COFFEE with cream.”; She emphasized as diplomatically as possible. “Coming right up!”; He announced cheerfully and then excused himself. Dianne seated herself on a large overstuffed couch and looked around at the room. For the first time she had the opportunity to analyze the surroundings of her overly enthusiastic host as most people do subconsciously. He was certainly pleasant and attentive enough but there was a curious sparkle in his eyes which gave her the impression of eccentric intelligence or exaggerated excitability. He was slight in size and probably middle aged, she assumed. The house was extremely tidy. Perhaps a little too neat for her liking. If it hadn’t been for a single stain on the couch beside her it would seem like a furniture showroom. His quick invitation to view the encyclopedias translated in her mind that he was very lonely. With a little social finesse she could turn the golden opportunity into a sale! Maybe he might even purchase an extra set for his grand kids, she hoped. “I’ll charm the little guy and have him eating out of my hand.”; Dianne thought confidently. Then she brought herself back down to earth by reminding her overconfident side that if he had any grand kids then there would be pictures of them throughout the house and he wouldn’t be so starved for company. Even more humbling was the fact that he had yet to purchase any and counting chickens before they hatched was always a mistake. Surprisingly; no sooner than had the kitchen door stopped swinging, her host reappeared with a silver coffee and tea tray. “What did you say your name was again, young lady?” “Dianne Monarch”; she reminded him. “Ah, Monarch; I like that! Like the butterfly, right?” “Well yeah; or like royalty”; she said while imitating a prim and proper royal sounding voice. What happened next was completely unexpected. Instead of a pleasant smile or a polite chuckle her host burst into a nearly uncontrollable fit of hysterical laughter which didn’t subside for several moments. Since that type of extreme reaction is contagious, she couldn’t help but to join him yet she was still amazed at his overreaction to her mediocre jest. “This is one lonely guy!”; she thought sadly. “Let me begin by telling you that each volume of the New Vision Encyclopedia has been meticulously researched for the greatest accuracy available and filled with up to date facts, illustrations and pictures to entertain and educate for years to come.” After she managed to recite all of the manufacturer’s suggested opening introduction for the first time ever, she quickly moved on to the second set of selling point . “Just look at the binding. It’s not very often that you can find books this handsome or well made in this day and age for even twice the price.” “They certainly are very handsome books.”; her potential customer agreed. “And as you said, very well bound too.”; He added. “It kind of reminds me of my own book.” “Your book? I didn’t realize you were an author.” She began to look for a way to tie that in with the encyclopedias. “Well, I’m only the author of one book but I don’t mind telling you that I’m very proud of it and it’s message to the reader. It’s overly simplistic in some regards but the basic nature of the subject matter almost requires simplicity. All self criticism aside though, I honestly feel that it is a wonderful book.” Dianne sat and listened politely as her host patted his own ego. She would have much rather been at home soaking her feet or showing him the encyclopedias the whole time but she didn’t want him to realize her disinterest in his “Wonderful Book”. If she wasn’t attentive enough it would cause him to lose interest in the encyclopedias so a little give and take was the best thing for her to do. “I’m so glad that I’ve finally found someone interested in books.”; she exclaimed, attempting to steer the conversation back to what she had to sell. He efforts only worked for a short time. “Well I used to read a lot of books but vain as it might sound, the only book that I really need any more is my own. It inspires me to do great things. It’s amazing how a person’s own thoughts can be such a large source of self motivation, isn’t it?”; He pondered as much to himself as to her. “I guess so.”; She answered even though she wasn’t really following what he was trying to get across. “Is your book a ‘self-help’ manual or ‘how to’ book?” Her puzzled tone fueled his enthusiasm for the subject. “A little of both but not really either, exactly. I draw personal inspiration from the concept on it’s pages but then again so do some people when the read classic literature. It’s all relative to an individual’s interests I suppose.” “Well just think about how much inspiration you’ll receive from the New Vision Encyclopedia because it has something for everyone, regardless of their interests or hobbies.” She paused only a moment to catch her breath so he wouldn’t have time to change the subject again. “You mentioned butterflies earlier this afternoon when I told you my last name. Are you a collector or an enthusiast?” Before he could answer her, she quickly flipped to butterfly and showed him it’s glossy pages. “Yes I have been ‘a watcher’ for quite some time now but I’ve only recently learned how to collect specimens for my collection without ending their lives painfully.” “See! if you had the New Vision Encyclopedia you could have read the huge section on chloroform and preserving butterflies and moths. I’m sure too that there are dozens or even hundreds of other things of interest that you could learn more about so why don’t you give them a try? They’re completely guaranteed to meet with your absolute satisfaction for thirty days or you can get a full refund; no questions asked! As a bonus for trying them today you will also receive the New Vision Compendium completely free. It’s a forty dollar value! So what do you say? Can I put you down for a set... or Two!” Dianne didn’t mind telling him about the money back guarantee because even if he returned them she was free of responsibility because she had done her part. Toward the end of her sales pitch Dianne almost started smiling as she realized how much she sounded like a high pressure salesperson on television with a slick routine. She didn’t like being pressured by those type of people but she was becoming that way herself! “Desperate circumstances require desperate measures.”; She reassured herself. “Well I don’t know, I’m in the process of writing a sequel to my book and that will probably take most of my time for a while.” His negative response made her new found hopes drift away as quickly as they had came to her. “You can use them for research on your new book!”; Dianne blurted out desperately. She was all out of ideas but victory was too close to give up. “I never thought of that. So you think it could be helpful to me?” “Certainly; there are articles on just about anything you could think of or write about.” With him again only inches away from being her first real customer, her excitement was renewed. “I don’t know about that. I can think of some pretty bizarre things that I bet aren’t in there.” The twinkle in his eyes made her shiver involuntarily. “Name something; anything at all and I’ll show you!” Dianne had him and she knew it. Everything a person could possibly think of was inside those gold leaf pages. The shrill whistle of the teakettle interrupted her from showing him. “Let me take care of that and get us some tea so you can show me how broad and detailed the subjects are without any further distractions.” As soon as he was out of sight in the kitchen she stood up to stretch her legs and look around secretly. She had noticed that each time he refereed to his so called “Wonderful Book” he would glance up at a large hardback volume on the fireplace mantle. Part of her wanted to gain a head start in proving the encyclopedia’s usefulness by finding out what his book’s subject matter was but she was more than mildly curious about the mystery tome too. She quickly glanced back at the kitchen door while slowly migrating over to the fireplace “to warm her hands”. The front of the book only contained the word “Kill” in large bold print. “A murder mystery”; she realized knowlingly. On the back cover was the man’s photograph and the usual brief biographical information. Inside however; the contents were not at all what she expected! Only the words: “I shall kill all those who come to my door!” were repeated continuously throughout it’s pages. Sentence after sentence, page after page, chapter after chapter, from the first page to the last was the book’s only line. Dianne realized with consuming fear that the gleam in his eyes was not from eccentric intelligence; it was from being a homicidal maniac and she unfortunately fit the only criteria for his next victim! Moments later the “butterfly” enthusiast emerged from the kitchen carrying the tea pot and tray. He was surprised to find that his afternoon guest; a wonderful young “specimen” named Dianne Monarch, had made a very hasty departure out his still open front door. At first he was confused and then he spied his open book on the mantle. “Ah!”; He smiled. “She was embarrassed after witnessing the sheer brilliance of My Wonderful Book in comparison to her pale encyclopedias.” He carried the “special” tea back into the kitchen for the next visitor. “That was the third one to leave here in a huff this month.”; He shamefully realized. “I really must stop bragging about it so much or I’ll never get any more specimens for my collection!”
Other English Authors
Homepage
The Questioning Way
Guestbook